:: Random Meanderings ::

:: Sunday, August 03, 2003 ::

My Site is Moving..


I know the Tripod popups are more than annoying, so I got myself a Blogspot account. There's still a banner ad, but at least no more popups.

I won't be updating here any longer, but you can find my current blog here:

alenaswebpage.blogspot.com

:: Alena 11:06 PM [+] :: ::

...

Wow


Someone got me turned on to Friendster a while back, and since it was down the last I'd checked, I sort of forgot about it. Well, I got an email today from Friendster, totally out of the blue, from my friend Amy, asking to be added to my friends list.

Amy is someone I've known since 3rd grade.. we were best friends for years, and then during high school we drifted apart. After that, I really had no idea what she was doing, and we haven't talked in something like 10 years. I'm way stoked that we've made contact again.. now I just have to find my friend Kim.

Some random blog filler:

Name: Alena Jennifer Davis
Were you named after anyone? In a roundabout way, yes. Up until my birth, my name was going to be Carrie (my mom was certain she was having a girl). Then, at the last moment, they came up with "Alena", because my mom wanted something like Eleanor, her mother's name.
Do you wish on stars? Yep. Sure can't hurt.
When did you last cry? A week or two ago.
Do you like your handwriting? Generally, yes.
Any bad habits? Yeah, my life is a bad habit. Smoking, being too lazy, etc.
What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf? Well, I was going to confess that I own a Milli Vanilli CD, but I don't seem to have it anymore. I guess the next most embarassing would be The Little Mermaid soundtrack.
If you were another person, would you be friends with you? I'm not sure. I find myself pretty funny, but I do have quite a few qualities I would find annoying.
Are you a daredevil? Not really.
Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Ever? Yes. Recently, in the past 5+ years? No.
Do looks matter? To others, apparently. To me, not really.. it's way more important to have a beautiful personality.
Have you ever misused a word and it sounded completely stupid? Yeah, but I find that kind of thing pretty funny. I like making up my own words, too.
Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? No.
Do fish have feelings? Everything has feelings in some range or another. I doubt fish have complex emotions, but they can be fairly smart.
Are you trendy? Hell no.
How do you release anger? Swearing, slamming things, writing, talking about it.
Where is your second home? In the woods.
What was your favorite toy as a child? Definitely my first, much-coveted Cabbage Patch kid.
What class in school do you think is totally useless? Any math beyond algebra, unless you're going into a career that will utilize it.
Have you ever been on radio or television? Yes, both. I've been on the news a couple of times, once in the background (when New Kids on the Block came to my Jr. High) and once in San Francisco, being interviewed about a movie I'd just seen. I felt like a minor celebrity after that, people actually commented on seeing me. As for radio, I did a pirate radio show in Santa Cruz as well as a commercial for a legitimate station.
Do you have a journal? Yep, this one, and my book journal. I have something like 6 full journals and one I'm working on now.
Do you use sarcasm a lot? Who, me? Nawwww.. (Get it? That was sarcasm.)
Have you ever been in a mosh pit? Ugh, no. I have unfortunately been on the edge of many a mosh pit, though.
What are your nicknames? Bill calls me 'Ween' or 'Weenie'. I've also gone by 'Lanie' or 'Allie'. A few people at work call me Alena Jo, because our food tickets print out with our middle and last initials (Alena JD).
Would you bungee jump? Maybe. But likely I'd chicken out first.. I have an immense fear of heights.
Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope.
What are you worried about right now? Money, mostly. And pretty much everything else in my life.
Do you ever wear overalls? No.. I look really awful in them.
Do you think that you are strong? Physically, I think I hold my own. Mentally, not as strong as I'd like.. but stronger than I have ever been.
What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby. And I've been kind of craving bing cherry gelato from Perche No in S.F.
What are your favorite colors? Blue and green.. particularly the deep, intenser shades.. and any mixture of the two.
What is your least favorite thing in the world? Work. Ignorance, bigotry.
How many wisdom teeth do you have? None.. I had all four yanked at once.
Are you in love with anyone? Nope.
How many people have a crush on you right now? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say probably not that many.
Who do you miss most right now? Jan.

:: Alena 6:56 PM [+] :: ::

...

Fresh Start


All right.. July is over and done. I hope the screen door smashed it in the head on its way out.

As I have said in the past, Tristan Taormino is absofuckinglutely hot. Imagine my surprise while idly channel surfing through awful soap opera acting, when I stumbled upon Tristan on Ricki Lake!

My surprise was twofold -- it was the first I'd ever seen Tristan on a talkshow, plus Ricki Lake of all shows!? If you have never watched Ricki Lake, you should understand that the audience has what I'd call a Junior High School mentality. Tristan, the sex guru, is totally open and comfortable talking about sex. But it was like being in an assembly of teenagers, the way the audience was tittering. Kind of amusing and embarrassing at the same time.

Tristan is foremost an anal sex guru, so I was anticipating that the subject would come up. One woman came on the show to say that her husband had become obsessed with anal sex ever since they first tried it, and the woman wanted him to realize she didn't only want that kind of sex. Only they never actually said 'anal sex', they kept calling it 'an alternative form of sex' or 'another kind of sex'. I watched the entire episode glued to Tristan's face; I really was dying to know what was going through her mind.

Another thing that was really funny is that they brought all these people out to talk to Tristan and some other guy who is apparently also a sex guru, yet they spent like two minutes total on 'resolving' each problem. We'll use the term 'resolving' loosely, as the topic was briefly discussed, usually no conclusion drawn, and then they would go to commercial.

Another highlight of the show was Tristan taking this uptight young housewife into Babes in Toyland and instructing her to find a dildo that was the size of her husband's penis. Inside the store, Tristan commented, "I heard he was the size of a Coke can?" (Apparently her husband is hung and sex is uncomfortable for her.)

I also wondered if anyone on the show knew or realized that Tristan is a lesbian. And then I thought it would be super-fun to see Tristan and Oprah together.

On other fronts, work has been a bit better than usual. Half the tips are still crappy, but at least they're not all crappy. My first table left me a $42 tip, on a $120 bill, but I think that was a mistake. I think the lady probably didn't realize the gratuity had been added to the check. However, they left before I could say anything, but I still feel a bit guilty about it.

My last table was a party of 10 wiseass teenagers. I hate wiseass teenagers, but generally I deal with them pretty well, because I, too, am a wiseass and I give it back just as good as I get it. And because they're teenagers, I don't care about being snarky back at them.

What made me mad is 3 of them didn't order anything, and the manager told me I couldn't grat the table. Little fuckers left me $4. Not even 10%. I had a bit of fun at their expense, though, so I guess it evens out.

I'd tell that story, but it'd make me look like even more of a jackass than I already do.

However, I am proud to report that I had my one-year anniversary at OG and got a spiffy one-year pin. This is officially the longest job I've ever held. Actually, it was officially the longest two months ago, but whatever. It's not that I get fired.. in fact, I've never been fired from a job, other than from my GameMaster position. And while that probably says wonders about me in all sorts of ways, I'll just move on and state that I usually get so fed up of jobs, I quit within a year.

The only reason I've been at OG for so long is that there's nothing else for me to do here. In fact, I did technically quit last November, but then Charter ended up not hiring me because I left something blank on the application by accident. So yeah. A year. And more to look forward to.

Killmekillmekillmekillme. :P

:: Alena 12:37 AM [+] :: ::

...

Thank God...


...this month is almost over with. Only 5 more hours to go and this craptastic month from hell will be done and over with. Yes, I am actually counting down the hours. I have never been so ecstatic to see a month disappear.

It seems like the iron fist of the universe is slowly releasing its stranglehold. Small, good things are starting to happen again. It all started with the firefly and the CD. Then I got a short reprieve on the fine for my traffic ticket. Tips have been better (finally!). And my mom, who just surprises me sometimes with just how fucking awesome she is, sent me $50 to buy myself something nice.

She and her best friend started up a new business, and apparently they're doing very, very well. I guess she's doing well enough to send me off a bit of money. Very nice of her. :)

I am so tempted to spend the $50 on my bills, but I feel like that's not a gift. I mean, she told me to buy something nice for myself, and I'm not going to get much enjoyment out of just using it on bills. And if I sent someone money and wanted them to treat themselves because I know they never can afford to, it would disappoint me if they didn't get much enjoyment out of it.

So I still haven't totally decided, but I know right off that what I need is a new pair of shoes. I've been wearing the same pair for 3+ years, and it's really just time to retire them and get new ones. I could use some bras, too, but I can buy them later, on my own. What I really want is a new pair of shoes. So that makes me happy, my mom's little surprise for me.

Other crap has not been resolved, but I at least have less things on my plate now.

:: Alena 7:12 PM [+] :: ::

...

Rant: On


Yeah, I feel like ranting a little bit. I came across this article, and I was just in total disbelief. It's not bad enough that Clinton passed the Defense of Marriage Act during his term, but Bush wants additional legislation to 'reinforce' that marriage is solely between a man and a woman.

Our government is severely fucked up, if this is one of their top priorities. Instead of spending money and time on things like fixing our schools, taking care of seniors and kids that are falling through the cracks, or getting health care for everyone, they're going to instead spend it legislating their own right-wing, Christian morality, and trying to make sure everyone in this country knows that gay people are 'sinners' that don't require a second thought.

When did this country become about our leaders legislating their own morality? Isn't this a democracy? Shouldn't our President be focusing on more serious things, and spending less time and energy making a point against what two people in love can and can't do?

My consolation is that other countries recognize, or are beginning to recognize, gay unions. Vermont was a huge step in the right direction for our country. I know that sometime during my life, I will eventually be able to marry the person I'm in love with. It simply pisses me off that in this day and age, where everyone preaches tolerance, it's still so far away.

Who says marriage is only between a man and a woman? The Bible? And what happened to separation of church and state? Since when does the Bible call the shots in this country?

I don't believe in bitching, but not doing anything about the problem. Add your name to the MillionForMarriage petition.

:: Alena 6:40 PM [+] :: ::

...

Gay Marriage


If you haven't already, please go here and add yourself to the petition.

We queers thank you.

:: Alena 4:22 PM [+] :: ::

...

So.. Um... Yeah.


I have finally gotten to the point where I give up and surrender to the universe. If it wants to screw with me, let it. I obviously can't do anything but take the punches as they come.

I was thinking tonight that June was absolutely golden. It might have been the most awesome month of my life.. and everything was going right. It's strange that July would turn out to be completely opposite.. instead of being given good things, I'm having things taken away.

Things are easier now that I've surrendered. I'm done with spending energy being pissed off. I did a bit of letter-writing, which also helped me sort and purge a lot of the crap I was feeling. I feel a lot calmer now.

The weird thing is, after that, tonight I got two 'signs' of good luck. The first one was a lightning bug that somehow got into my apartment, and was flitting around on my desk. It was glowing and everything. I grew up in the city, so as you can imagine, my childhood was pretty devoid of lightning bugs. Most kids have caught and kept them, and before tonight, I'd never seen one close up, much less touched one. One thing I like about living here is all the lightning bugs in the summer; they're so neat.

In any case, I caught the lightning bug in my bare hands and put it outside. If it's not a good luck sign, then at least I'm attracting other insects besides roaches and flies.

And THEN I realized I seemed to be missing some CDs, so I went on a hunt for my CD books. I found them in the still-unpacked duffel bag I took to SimuCon. When I opened the first one, I was amazed to find a CD of MP3s that I'd burned for the drive to St. Louis. My carmates both had portable MP3 players with them, but neither of them worked, so we never listened to the CD. Since I don't have an MP3 player, I promptly forgot about the CD.

I was a bit peeved when I hooked up this computer and found that I had no MP3s on it whatsoever. I swear I had a whole library, but I must have deleted it when I switched PCs. The CD doesn't have any of my new favorites, but it has plenty of songs I really like.. so I'm very, very happy.

I dare not hope that my luck is changing, but at least something positive finally happened.

:: Alena 1:46 AM [+] :: ::

...

Just Make It Stop!


I have been incredibly pissed off about my computer dying; so much so that I have refused to do just about anything on this computer. Actually, I can't do half of the things I normally do, anyway, on this old-ass computer. I don't want to curse it too much, in case it, too, decides to break down and fuck me over.

Well, any and all good luck I was reaping and crowing over in June -- gone. Gone, gone, gone. I am so totally broke in general and more things just keep piling on top of everything else. I keep waiting for it to stop; keep thinking it must, yet it just doesn't. I keep praying for a miracle, having completely surrendered to my bad luck and general fucked-ness, thinking, hoping, that if I trust in the universe to provide for me, it will.

Work is downright awful these days. I can't remember the last time I had a good, easy shift and left with decent money in my pocket. It seems like every facet of my life is determined to be as difficult as possible. I absolutely love how everything decided to turn to shit all at once. I could handle one or two bad things at a time, you know, but currently I'm pretty much drowning in heaps of woe.

I may not make it into school this semester, as I really wanted to. I spaced out on financial aid stuff and then a couple weeks ago, all of a sudden realized just how close the start of the next semester is. The financial aid office told me I wouldn't have the money by the start of school. I have no idea what I'm going to do about that.

I am totally and completely overwhelmed. I'm miserable. I'm frustrated. I'm desperate for just ONE good thing to happen. I'm even considering going and selling plasma just so I have money to pay my bills.

Fun, eh?

:: Alena 2:41 PM [+] :: ::

...

Yes, Universe, I Will Bend Over and Take It!


That basically sums it up. My computer died this afternoon, once and for all. I really can't type on this old, stuck-ass keyboard and this computer is slow as hell, so I probably won't be blogging much for a while.

I need a new motherboard/CPU and have to figure out some way to get it.

Alena is NOT happy.

:: Alena 12:06 AM [+] :: ::

...

BLAH, I say!


I have to say, first of all, that it cracks me up when people misspell the word 'grammer'. Especially in message board posts where the person is smacking someone else down for bad spelling and/or grammar. I rather dig the irony of it.

Work is really getting me down. I don't seem to be having very many good days these days, and my crappy days just have continually gotten worse. It's like I can guarantee that every other shift or so, someone will complain, either about me or about something else, and get their bill comped. This is not cool by me. It first of all pisses me off that these stupid fucking people are not above resorting to bald-faced lying in order to embellish their complaint, making me look really bad, at least until the manager can come talk to me.

I'm tired of this. I'm so fucking tired of dealing with this endless bullshit. The people I wait on are generally a very miserable bunch to deal with. The only thing I can think is that this job is meant to teach me humility and how not to treat people. I certainly have learned a lot about how I feel about basic human respect.

Today was another exceptionally bad day. And yeah, I did almost cry. I came on at 11, and there were 3 tables pushed together in our room, awaiting a party of 17 that was supposed to arrive at 11:30 (nevermind the party of 33 that walked in AT 11, and Rose and Jessica got slammed with first thing). No biggie, until the hosts filled up the rest of our room. We hadn't figured out yet who was going to be taking the party, and since the restaurant wasn't busy, we were going to go in order.

My first table sat down at probably 11:15, my second table sat down at about 11:40. At 11:45, the entire party of 17 rolls in. Mike and I get stuck with it, and I then tried to juggle both two tables, as well as a party of 9. At restaurants like Applebee's, you can run five tables at once pretty easily. My record there was 11 tables, so I'm no slouch. Olive Garden is different because there are all these various steps, the salad and breadsticks, dealing with bread/salad refills on top of refills of everything else. So it is different, more involved and time-consuming, and can be challenging to run even four tables at once, much less two and a party.

I was running my ass off trying to get things for all my tables. My first table finished up and cashed out with no issue, but the second table insisted on being demanding the entire time, even though they could plainly see that I was incredibly busy and not intending to ignore them. Every visit to the table, they had at least one demand. It's the kind of table I usually avoid visiting because I get tired of hearing "Can we have this?" "We need this." "I need a refill." "Can we have more this, this, and this?" But honestly, I had no time to avoid anything, I was seriously just too busy.

And they didn't go totally ignored. They had drinks on the table, though I just remembered I forgot the kid's water when she finished her shake, they always had bread and salad.. they got their food hot and fresh. I don't get the deal.

Now, at the beginning of their meal, we ran out of breadsticks because Rose and Jessica had to use them all for their party. I guess the guy who was working on bread/appetizers/pizza was really swamped, because everything was taking forever. One of the managers finally had to throw bread in the oven because the app guy was too busy. The table waited a long time for bread, but that's not my fault, and there's nothing I can do about it except nag the app guy.

So this table of mine ordered two pizzas, and yeah, the guy was slammed, so it might have taken a bit longer than normal. But it didn't seem to me like it had taken an inordinately long time to get there. They'd been eating their salad and bread pretty much the whole time, so it didn't seem like they could be too starving or anything, and it wasn't like they'd been sitting there unoccupied.

They finished, ordered a piece of black tie mousse cake for the kid, and at the same time they were eating the cake, the party of 17 was finishing up, cashing out, getting ready to go. My other table at some point just got up and went to the front. I had way too much to deal with already to deal with this fucking other table, I just couldn't believe it. One of the hosts helped me out and got the lady's credit card, I ran it and took it up to the front.

Next thing I know, Doug the manager is up front talking to her, she's going on about how bad the service was -- right in front of me. I handed her the credit card, shrugged, and said, "Sorry."

Bitch.

Doug comes into the side station all rared up and asking me all sorts of questions. Apparently the woman had flat-out lied to him and told him they got there at 11:00, and since it was about 12:30 or 12:45 at that point, that made me look REALLY bad. Then I stopped and thought about it for a second. I knew what time the big party got there because I was pissed that they were 15 minutes late, as it had totally screwed us. My other table sat down right before that, so they hadn't been there any earlier than 11:30.

Doug comped the whole damn thing.

I told him that there was no way in hell any of my tables was going to sit there as long as the lady said she did. If I know something is taking a really long time, even if it's because I screwed up, I will get a manager and see how they want me to handle it (even if it means sucking it up and going out there and admitting I've fucked up).

And I look back on the ladies' behavior and it was almost like they were being purposefully demanding, like they got some sort of glee from it. I don't know if this is because they knew how busy I was and were determined to be as demanding as possible anyway, or if they just delighted in piling on more crap for me to do and watching me sweat.

What bitches. How can I possibly give you good service when I'm slammed and you just keep adding to the pile?

Add that in with the table a month or so ago that told me I have a bad attitude. Actually, I believe the exact quote is, "You know, I don't like your attitude." The funny thing is, I really was not giving them attitude; I was actually trying very hard, and being very good in minding my tone and my tongue. I was being pleasant and civil, and trying to turn the focus from the man's rudeness and aggression to something else.

And I do find it funny that whenever someone doesn't like my attitude, which thankfully I hear less of these days, it's usually when I'm making an effort to not be rude. So it makes me want to reply, "Ha! You think this is attitude? Honey, I can show you attitude."

Then add in party-of-9 asshole. And several other dickhead people I've waited on recently. I'm basically asking myself at this point if it's me. Are these people reacting to something I'm doing, that I'm not even aware of? Or are they just assholes? Am I really an awful server? Or are these people just bitchy?

I wish I knew. That's part of what's getting me down. I used to think I was a pretty good server, but I don't know anymore. Maybe I really suck. Maybe I am rude. I know I feel like being condescending most of the time.

And you know, I often find myself thinking, "Oh.. That's why I've felt so weird and out-of-sorts lately" whenever my period starts. I don't know whether all this weirdness and rollercoastering I've felt lately has been a product of being infused in hormones. I sure as hell hope so, because I'd like to get back to normal, thanks.

And lastly, I'm exchanging the CD burner. Of course, I have to ship the one I have back to Polaroid, and they won't send me a new one until they get it. I was hoping they'd do what Kensington did: just ship me a new mouse and tell me to put the old one in the box and send it back. Ah well.. I have to wrap the damn box in brown paper and all that, and who knows how much it'll cost to ship. F$%king Polaroid.

If I felt confident that replacing the drive would work, I probably would be all about it. But since I have no faith anymore, I think I'll just bang my head on my keyboard for a while.

:: Alena 11:46 PM [+] :: ::

...

My Computer is Possessed By Satan


It is. Rilly.

Polaroid finally wrote me back. They sent me a zipped bundle of stuff that is supposedly the firmware for my CD burner. Why they don't include the firmware with the burner, I have no idea. I also received some vague, convoluted instructions on downloading files and creating a DOS boot disk, and I flailed around with that until I realized that XP comes with an option to create a DOS boot disk. Did the Polaroid tech guy even read my email? Or should I be concerned that the tech guy isn't aware of this option within XP?

Anyway, I flailed around some more and managed to boot up in DOS, managed to get the firmware utility running.. and then when I go to select W to write the firmware update, the damn bloody fucking thing hangs. I even let it sit for 45 minutes, in hopes that it was just taking a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally long time. But no.

I have no faith anymore that anything can make this sheep-shagging CD burner work. I don't even think a firmware update will work. I'm not sure exchanging it for another one will work. No faith, I say. You see how Polaroid has ripped my dreams from me??

In an enterprising moment, I also wrote to the folks at Nero (my burning software). It was going to be a contest to see who would reply first, but Polaroid responded sooner than I expected. In any case, I wrote them back regarding my firmware issues [insert Viagra joke here], so we'll see what happens from here.

The flies finally died. I now have a cleaning conundrum, because I have about 30 flies dead on the inside of my windowsill, and I'd like to avoid reaching in and manually removing them. The problem lies in the fact that I don't own a vacuum or dustbusting sort of appliance. I got sick of looking at all the dead bugs on the floor and swept my carpet tonight (yes, I am living in the 18th century). I found some suspicious-looking insect casings behind my kitchen garbage can, so I assume that that is my evidence of fly babies (I refuse to say the M-word). I still have absolutely no clue why they were hatched there, it's not like I keep rotting animal carcasses behind my trash can.

It's just way too disgusting to deal with, and I'm glad that affair is mostly finished with. I may have to ask around and see if any of my friends has a dustbuster dealie I can borrow. I was thinking tonight that I seriously need a vacuum cleaner. I mean, I feel like such an idiot when I sweep my carpet, plus I know I'd feel much better about things if I could vacuum; at least then, it would seem somewhat more sanitary when I finished.

I was also fairly productive and did my laundry today, getting in a good hour or so of journal time. The only time I write in my journal these days is when I have to work out thoughts and feelings that I'm not prepared for the whole world to see. Actually, I probably wouldn't care if the whole world read it, since the whole world doesn't know me personally.. but there are things I'd rather process before presenting them to people I do know to read.

In any case, at the time I wasn't sure whether my journal entry might eventually turn into a letter, since there were some things in there that I'd just discovered, as well as some clarifications on other things. That's what I love about my journal.. I basically get to talk to myself like I'm talking to someone else, and then start working out my problems and thoughts and things, until they seem clearer. Often I'll have insights that never occurred to me; it's sort of like brainstorming with myself.

Anyway, I read over the entry, and finished it, and I think it's fine as it is. I may use it for reference in the future, but I'm at least settled with how I feel at the moment.

Other than that, I'm preparing for another work week, and praying that it's better than it has been lately. I like clinging to whatever remaining bits of sanity I have left, ya know?

:: Alena 12:42 AM [+] :: ::

...

Hrmmmm.


My Bloginality is ENFP.

I just took a random personality test and when I scored as an ENFP, I thought, no way. I've always come up as an I(ntrovert).. this test must be wrong.

So I went to The Personality Page, a site I've used in the past, to check out ENFPs. And then I proceeded to sit and read through the description with my mouth hanging open. Yeah, that's most definitely me. Pretty crazy. I'd always figured I was an introvert because of my definite need for time alone to regroup and center. But it turns out that that is part of being an ENFP. It's kind of funny, I had a late-night table a couple of weeks ago, and somehow we got into the topic of the Myers-Briggs test and the different personalities. One of the men told me, "You are not an introvert." I disagreed and made a case against it, but I guess he was right!

I found one site that had a quote I liked: "ENFPs have what some call a 'silly switch.' They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence." Just a big kid sometimes, I am, indeed.

Nifty, I learned something new. Now I have to read the rest of the stuff on ENFPs. :D

More on ENFPs:

Typelogic - ENFP
Hale Online - ENFP
Socionics.com - ENFP
Facts About ENFPs
ENFP - The Champion Style
Personality Type - ENFP

:: Alena 1:23 AM [+] :: ::

...

Your blogger code is:

B1 d- t k s+ u-- f i o x-- e l- c-

:: Alena 1:06 AM [+] :: ::

...

The Best Error Message Ever


I clicked on a link and got this error message:


So you've reached the big 4 0 4 have you then?

404: page not found

We apologise, but in your current state of mind,
it is impossible to view the page you are trying to reach. This could be caused
by it's non-existence, though there are a few well known cures.

• Lick the mouse. This bizare method usually clears 404's straight away. It
  is advisable not to kiss anyone after, as many mice do fester diseases,
  especially if you have let them loose before.
  
• Try standing up and spinning your self 15 times on the spot. Return to
  your chair and continue your experience with this website.
  
• Threaten your computer with a screwdriver (make sure it is star headed,
  they don't fall for tricks these days).
  
• Take 4 vodka shots. This seems to cure most things these days.
  
• Get K-Meleon a brilliant web
  browser
  
• Are you using Windows? Well that's your first mistake!
  
• If all the above do not work, we strongly suggest hiring an exorcist to
  look at your computer and check for spirit violations.
  
• In the extreme chance none of the above work, try
  bribing the webmaster by e-mail him, maybe then he will fix it (goto the
  main page and click on contact or at the link on the bottom of this page) or take
  your computer to spain. Many computers work much better when they feel
  loved.

E-Mail The Webmaster

:: Alena 9:35 PM [+] :: ::

...

Update


Since I mentioned clipping my fingernails in this post, I'm now able to track just how fast my nails grow. I had to clip my nails again today, so that makes it 12 days between clippings. Longer than I thought, but still. I think my nails grow fast.

:: Alena 6:50 PM [+] :: ::

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Random Linkage


I'm sorting through an unwieldy mass of bookmarks. I have no idea how many bookmarks I have, but it's gotten out of control. I keep saving links to post here, and then they get lost in an overwhelming list that I never feel like dealing with. And like my MP3s, my bookmarks are fairly meticulously organized. It's the Virgo in me, what can I say.

I found a cool site called Albino Blacksheep, which has all sorts of random video clips anda host of all sorts of other stuff. I just watched Conspiracy Theory Rock: Media-Opoly by Robert Smigel (the animator for SNL). The video was banned from TV (particularly NBC) for obvious reasons. RealPlayer Required.


Slap Her... She's French is also strangely fun. I cackled when I got my first SUPERSLAP!!!. (and just for Jen, Spank the Monkey)


Next up is WatchMeDance.com, which is very work- and kid-safe to view (in fact, your kids may get a kick out of watching it); it simply is what it says -- a very enthusiastic and brave young man getting down in some random places. He carries a boom box with him. Very much worth watching (I guarantee you will laugh).


Peter works at a zoo, and is friends with a diverse number of zoo animals. He's taken a bunch of pictures and put them up on website for folks to look at. When Peter isn't getting mauled by vultures, or devoured by an ibis, he has a really cool job.


Normally, I really hate toilet humor and I don't find it amusing in the least. Well, this video is the exception. I had to watch it at least five times, I was laughing so hard. I especially love the end.


I don't know about you, but a great deal of valuable class time during my youth was spent constructively on the game M.A.S.H. Forget Miss Cleo.. why waste time on that, when M.A.S.H. has been long-known to be the most accurate tool for the divination of the future? Since we played every day, and got different answers each time, I'm still awaiting my Porsche and Lamborghini.. along with about 100 various people I was supposed to marry. Now you, too, can play M.A.S.H. online.


My favorite kittens song, which seems to have mysteriously disappeared from rathergood.com.


Lastly, in the "Random Flash" category, we have Five More Minutes. Make of it what you will.


This... I can't remember where I found this photograph online, but this will likely be my next art purchase. I love this photo. I'm tempted to freak out my house guests by displaying it in my living room.


KISS
by Tanya Chalkin

:: Alena 6:22 PM [+] :: ::

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I'm Pulling My Hair Out


Okay, so.. the CD burner problem has been deemed unsolvable. My friend Paul came over this afternoon to check out the situation. Mostly I really needed someone to come and LOOK at the damn thing and make sure I shoved the plugs in the correct thingers. I freely admit I am not a techie; I'm just glad to know what I do.

He also brought over a spare master/slave jumper, since I was unable to find one around here. We could really use a computer store, I swear to god. While Paul seems to have fixed a couple other problems I was having, the CD burner went back to non-functioning status as soon as he left. I may need to pay him to hang out with me whenever I want to burn something.

We did actually manage to burn a CD, and we thought the fucking thing was finally working. At this point, now that I know it's installed correctly, that I have all the correct software bits I'm supposed to, that everything is as it should be -- I think I have a broken burner. So now I'm really mad, mostly at Polaroid for subjecting me to months of hell because of a broken CD burner. I've been close to ramming a knife through the damn thing. I want to kill it.

Yeah, I know it was only $20 and that I shouldn't sweat it; maybe just get another. But you see how much anguish this $20 has bought me? It's the principle of the thing. I'm pissed off at Polaroid, and by gum, they are going to exchange this piece of crap-ass plastic and wires they call a CD burner.

I wrote Polaroid, but haven't heard anything yet. Of course, a multi-million dollar corporation such as Polaroid wouldn't possibly have a toll-free number to call for customer service. No.. you have your choice of a number based in southern California, or an email address.

Grrrrrrr. I will be avenged!

And then, after a fairly crappy work week, I come home this afternoon, looking forward to my upcoming days off. Rest and relaxation. And lo and behold, what is the first thing to greet me when I walk in the door?

Flies.

That's right, not only do I rent space in a roach motel, I suddenly have an Amityville Horror-size infestation of flies. I noticed a couple flies in here last night and was kind of wondering how they got in.. I have screens on my open windows, and a tightly-fitting screen door.

After I got over my initial creepy-crawlies, disgust, and shock, I quickly closed each window and trapped the flies between the screen and the glass. It's not very nice of me, and I don't like killing things, especially slowly like that, but you know, I just am not prepared to deal with the kind of situation that would result if I opened the windows and let them out.

I counted 32 flies trapped in the more populated of the two windows. I killed several that I didn't trap with Raid.. and there are a few more in the other window. So that's something like 40 flies in my house at once. Amityville Horror, I swear to god. First roaches, now this? Someone save me because I may go out of my mind.

Even though when you really think about it, it's so absolutely fucking disgusting... the only thing Jan and I could think of is that flies hatched somewhere in my house. The thing is, after I'd got the situation taken care of, that very thing occurred to me, and I scoured the house looking for anything that might shed a clue on where the hell all these flies came from. I couldn't find anything. It's baffling.

Ugh... I'll have to clean them up when they die.

And what kills me is that while I'm not the most organized person, I generally don't live in dirty conditions nor is my house extremely disgusting or anything. I mean, the roaches never show up in the kitchen; they always pop up on my computer desk (for some bizarre reason I can't fathom) and in the bathroom. Yet there are disgusting, nasty, food-scavenging insects all over my house. WTF?!


Dear God,

Please fix my CD burner and make the insects go away. Thank you.

:: Alena 8:00 PM [+] :: ::

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w00t


I hit 1000 visitors just now. Actually, I sort of cheated -- I was at 999 and I made Alex visit the site to make an even 1000. I mean, that way, I'd know who my 1000th visitor was.

Alex took a screenshot to celebrate the occasion:

:: Alena 2:37 AM [+] :: ::

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Bad Alena


I just noticed that the last time I posted was Tuesday. I've been so lax! Truthfully, I've either been too tired or too busy to stir up enough motivation to write. That, and other than random bitchiness about work, I haven't had a heck of a lot to post. I've been a little tired of thinking and analyzing anything going on, so I've just been kind of sitting back and pushing everything out of my head.

I am now completely fed up with my piece of shit CD burner, and if I had the proper tools, I would smash it into tiny pieces and fling them off my front porch. However, I had a discussion with Alex about possible problem causes due to my uninformed, flail-around-till-it-works installation. Turns out I might need another master/slave jumper or something. I pray to god that it works.. it pisses me off to own a CD burner that I can't even use (even though I only paid $20 for it, but you know, it's the principle of the thing!). Besides, I got these really cool blank CDs yesterday that I'm dying to use. They look exactly like mini vinyl records, it rocks. Le sigh.

And then we got hit with this HUGE storm yesterday. I'd just been telling my mom to not worry if she hears on the news that there's major flooding and damage happening in WV, since we're always flooding. And up until yesterday, even though we've been having a lot of rain and a lot of storms in general, we rarely ever flood here. Most of the really serious flooding has been in southern WV and in Ohio. I was out blank CD shopping, to test my theory that my CD burner prefers black-bottomed CDs (keep your dirty jokes to yourselves). It seemed like the burner worked fine on my black TDK disks, yet when I try to use the normal CDs, I get all sorts of crashes and errors.

The storm hit when I was in OfficeMax, and man, you have never seen a rainstorm until you see a WV summer storm. I swear, we don't get rain like that in CA. Storms here can dump two inches of rain in a matter of 15 minutes or less, and because it drops mass quantities of water all at once, the roads turn into one big sheet of water. I could hear how hard it was raining while inside the store, so I decided to walk out and wait under the awning for it to let up enough to run out to my car. I saw some OfficeMax guys out there smoking, so I figured, what the hell, and went outside.

Well, within about five minutes, my entire backside was wet. Not wet, but sopping wet. This was because not only was it raining cats and dogs, the wind was really strong and blowing all the water sideways. So since I was already half-wet and the rain didn't appear to be letting up, I figured I'd make a dash to my car. I was going to have to change anyway, when I got home.

Oh my god. I have never been in rain like that. By the time I'd walked the 150 or so feet to my car, I was drenched. I looked like I'd jumped into a swimming pool. The drive home was pretty scary.. every road had at least an inch of rain, and my poor station wagon isn't equipped to drive through that sort of thing. I mean, if I had a truck, I wouldn't sweat it. It was really scary driving the 5 minutes to my house.. I wasn't sure whether my car would get stuck in a deep puddle (and it felt like it might, a couple times), whether I'd lose control, or whether I'd make it home safely. I was freezing by the time I got inside my house (where I had the a/c running, of course).

You know.. I rarely, if ever, dream about actual people from my life.. if I do, it's often not even really the person, but someone random in my dream that represents them. And I swear to god, Jan was in every freaking dream I had last night. And there was even a dream with a tiger in it, with me and Jan.. and when I woke up, I was like.. what the fuck, a tiger? And a bear? And then it occurred to me.. duh, tiger reference (that makes no sense to anyone but me and Jan, but just trust me on this and go with it).

Just weird. The tiger was pretty tame. It was like hanging out on the steps of a pool or something with us, while the bear off in the distance kept taking people out when they'd try to walk by it or whatever. That part is because I've been playing Rise of Nations and on high resolution, when infantry units die, they go BOING and fly up in the air and then land on the ground, dead. So people walking by the bear would die like that. Boing.

I'm beyond trying to analyze most of my dreams. They're usually very odd, non-linear, and random. I have no idea what all these dreams mean, other than I'm thinking about Jan a lot. Just call me Dr. Alena.

And then.. Alex started pasting me about this weiner incident at a ballpark, and the more I read it, the funnier it seemed.. so I'm going to post the article here. The sausage jokes alone are fairly unbearable, but I've highlighted some of the better sentences in the article.


A Teeny Weenie Fine
By Amy Shipley
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, July 11, 2003; Page D01

Wurst came to worst late Wednesday night when a Pittsburgh Pirates player was arrested on battery charges and later cited for disorderly conduct after hitting an Italian sausage mascot in Milwaukee with a bat.

Pirates first baseman Randall Simon received a $432 fine for using a half-swing to topple one of the four mascots participating in the customary race of the sausages between innings at Miller Park.

The teetering sausage, beaned by Simon in front of the Pirates' dugout, tumbled into the hot dog running alongside and both fell. The two women inside the costumes were treated at the ballpark for skinned knees, a sheriff's spokesman said. The bratwurst and Polish sausage were uninjured.

The incident set off an investigation by the Milwaukee District Attorney's Office -- which decided yesterday against filing criminal charges -- and caused a contrite Simon to insist that he had no intention of smoking the meats.

"I wasn't trying to knock her out," Simon told reporters before Pittsburgh's 5-4 victory in Milwaukee yesterday. "I was trying to tap the head and let her finish the race. Unfortunately, she lost her balance."

Immediately after the game, Simon was read his Miranda rights, arrested, handcuffed and taken to the Milwaukee County Jail, where he was released after being photographed and fingerprinted. The police report indicated that he was "cooperative." He later explained that he had nudged the mascot in fun.

"I thought at the moment they were trying to play with us," he told reporters. "They were running right next to the players."

At 8:30 a.m. yesterday, Simon met for two hours with Deputy District Attorney Jon Reddin, who said he also grilled the hot dog, Italian sausage and one independent witness. Reddin said the injured mascots, Brewers employees identified by the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel as Mandy Block (the sausage), 19, and Veronica Piech, 19, agreed that Simon did not intend to hurt them.

Block, who reportedly stands 5 feet 3 and comes up only to the waist of the oversize sausage suit, requested an autographed bat from Simon, who signed bats for both women and gave them to the Brewers.

"We had no intention of prosecuting this criminally," Reddin said, adding with a chuckle that "this is the wurst case I've ever had."

The Brewers' chairman of the board is Wendy Selig-Prieb, daughter of Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig, who relinquished his ownership of the Brewers when he assumed his current post full-time.

In a statement, Selig said baseball officials were reviewing the situation. "Obviously, the type of behavior exhibited by Mr. Simon is anathema to the family entertainment that we are trying to provide in our ballparks and is wholly unacceptable," Selig said in the statement.

The mascots are sponsored by the Klement's Sausage Co., which sells sausage products at Miller Park. James Klement, co-president of the company, said from its Milwaukee office that he was "shocked and disappointed" in Simon's action, but acknowledged that the costumes -- more than eight feet tall and about 50 pounds -- are susceptible to toppling.

"Those sausage costumes are very top-heavy," he said. "Any slight off-balance [action], the wind, anything, can tip it over pretty quickly. . . . you still shouldn't be fooling around with a bat in that area."

Simon swung his bat at the sausage as it ran within arm's length of the dugout. Struggling to get up, the Italian sausage was helped to its feet by the Polish sausage. The hot dog got up without assistance and resumed the competition. The bratwurst, unencumbered, waddled to victory in the event, which is normally a public relations "race" that the participants take turns winning.

The incident was a meaty one for 24-hour sports Web sites and TV networks. A tape of the incident was replayed continuously on espn.com and msnbc.com. NBC's "Today Show'' featured the knockdown and ESPN News reports called it "Sausagegate."

The Pirates issued a statement yesterday apologizing for the incident and saying it would be dealt with internally.

Brewers executive vice president Rick Schlessinger said two scheduled races between the Brewers' Racing Sausages and the Pirates' team of racing pirogis were still on. The mascot challenges are set for Aug. 15 in Pittsburgh and Aug. 22 in Milwaukee.

"Right now," Pittsburgh director of media relations Jim Trdinich said about the upcoming contests, "it's no holds barred."

Simon was booed at yesterday's game in his only appearance, when he was used as a pinch hitter in the seventh inning. He grounded out.

"I've never been in any situation like this," Simon said. "I've never hurt anybody in my life."

Deputy Inspector Sherry Warichak of the Milwaukee sheriff's office said a number of callers had complained about the light-hearted characterization of the beaning by the media.

"The bottom line is that the guy hit somebody with a baseball bat," she said. "As comical as the sausage issue is, it still has to be looked at seriously and reasonably, which we have done and the district attorney's office did."

The Associated Press contributed to this report.


© 2003 The Washington Post Company

:: Alena 2:49 PM [+] :: ::

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